Hey nosey freaks (JK) ya’ll, I generally don’t speak much about my life on here but I’m mostly going to tell you guys how I’ve been feeling lately. I know that a lot of you guys have trouble opening up about your emotions and have no idea how to deal with them or what’s going on either. If you’ve been feeling off, just know that you’re not alone. Your mental health comes first. Always. Please please don’t allow other things to take over your mental health, your mental health has to come FIRST! Keeping your mental health stable is the key to happiness. You know, time is really flying by and summer is slowly coming to an end. This year feels shorter than ever, but this should hit everyone that time specifically does not wait for anyone! If you ever feel behind, it’s okay. Start small. Heck, or even start all over if you want. Enjoy your life and do what makes you happy right?!
How am I feeling? Not great but not entirely bad either. I’m actually pretty stressed out with a lot of things. I keep questioning about my life, my goals, my career, etc. I’m still healing from a loss and trying my very best to stay positive! I usually worry and stress out a lot because of my anxiety problems. It’s not a fun feeling, but I’m not alone. I’m barely in my 20s, but keep thinking that I’m running behind when there’s actually no rush. Let’s not compare ourselves to other people, wanna know why?! Because we were all born to thrive and it would be useless to try to blend in with the crowd. It’s pretty sad that our generation thinks that everything is a race when we should keep in mind that anything is possible to achieve through our actions! And I do believe that our mind is powerful enough to turn things around.
What have I’ve been doing? I’ve been working with the community these past months for our first-ever Miss Cambodia pageant in town as part of the marketing committee. It was such a fun experience and I’m very honored to be given this opportunity behind the scenes. I’m very proud of the ladies for joining and representing their Khmer heritage throughout this journey. I’m excited for what’s in store to come and the expansion of the recognition! I’m also spending time with my family and friends, getting some fresh air, dancing, writing of course, and finding connections with people that have the same goals and interests as me!
Am I currently in school? I was attending a community college near my local area online, but I’m taking a break from school as of now for my mental health. I’ve used to attend in-person classes, but presumed that taking online classes would be better and beneficial for me since I easily get distracted. I focus better taking online classes while studying alone and not being around people. My GPA was not the greatest at first, but I’ve noticed how my grades and GPA have vastly risen after switching to online. Everyone’s learning abilities are different, some do well online and some not so well online. It goes both ways when some students prefer in-person classes to be able to see everything the professor is teaching and getting to interact with students better.
What am I going to school for? When I attended community college, I was trying to get my basics out of the way first and bump up my GPA. I’ve thought it was cheaper that way before transferring to the institution that I want in the near future. I’m a creative writing major with a minor in performance studies. I want to pursue a career in journalism, film, and the entertainment industry soon one day. It’s not going to be an easy process, but there’s faith and perseverance.
Am I going back to school? When it’s the right time, then yes. The exciting part—I’ve got admitted to an accredited film school in LA, but the living cost and tuition can be a bit of a hassle to handle. And yes, I’ve applied for scholarships plus FAFSA. I did receive a couple scholarships that’s better than nothing, but it’s still not enough to afford. Sometimes I wish that money wasn’t such an issue for students who want to fulfill a career and have a full-time experience on campus. I believe that money shouldn’t have to stop us from wanting to pursue our dreams. No matter what, I’m not going to give up and will eventually proceed once I’m fully prepared. Film school may not necessarily be for everyone. Nonetheless, college in general isn’t always for everyone because you don’t really need a college degree to be successful. But if going to college is a convenient process for you that actually takes you to your career, then go for it. I find it ridiculous how many graduates take years to find a career in their field after college. This is certainly not the students’ fault, but the fault of our educational system.
Do I miss high school? I don’t even know why I’m asking myself this, because I personally do not miss the thought of high school. But I do miss some of the funniest moments and times that I’ve enjoyed. I obviously do not miss the bad memories, but the good ones that came with it. It’s crazy to think that it’s already been 3 years since I’ve graduated high school and I wouldn’t even want to look back. To be honest, high school wasn’t the best time for me. It was actually one of the loneliest years of my life, but I’m thankful for what high school has officially taught me and prepared for me to handle in the future. Things did get better for me after high school, but not easier I tell you. Life doesn’t just stop there after high school, because you’re finally seeing what sets the reality in the real world.
Do I have a love life? With food and boba, yes. Food before dudes. Ya know it! Haha, I’m funny right? Maybe not to you though (lol) but I gotta have a bit of a humor in this blog. Serious news about my love life though, it’s complicated. Not the relationship type of complicated, but I’m currently not seeking a relationship. I’m still finding myself right now, because that is what’s most important. I don’t want to lose myself while being lost in someone else or wasting my time on someone that doesn’t want me. Life is way too short to be desperate for love. If it happens, it happens! I’m still in the process of loving myself first before anyone. It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, because knowing your worth and value is important. I also have very high standards and expectations, but that’s because I’m just looking out for myself. Relationships are way too overrated nowadays and you don’t need to be in one to feel good about yourself. I don’t care how much hate I get for it because in the end, I’m just being me and I’d like to stand out for once. The right person will love me for me.
Welp, this post wasn’t supposed to be that long but it ended up long anyways. I normally post 2-3 times a month on here. I know I promised myself that I would keep writing more, so I’m going to keep challenging myself to speak out into the world. If you’re wondering, I read a lot in order to gain more ideas when I write. I try to come across different vocabularies and strategies in terms of creativity. Writing is honestly a great brain exercise no matter how much your brain hurts from it. Therefore, I will continue to write so feel free to stay updated on my journey. Just a reminder to stay happy, hydrated, and live your life the way you want! 🙂