You’re your own Valentine’s: A message for lonely singles

Hey guys, I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged in a while and I hope you all started off to a good year. Therefore, I’m writing this post for all of you singles out there that feel pretty excluded on Valentine’s Day. If you’re taken, you can simply screw off this post. I’m just kidding, but that’s great for you if you’re already in a happy relationship with someone that actually cares and cherishes you. However, I’m still happy for everyone either way because there are pros and cons to both.

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only special day of the year where you can only show off your significant other and give or receive romantic gifts. Everyday should already be a special day for two people and you don’t necessarily have to have a significant other to show love. You can always show love to your loved ones like your friends, family, colleagues, coworkers, and even your pets by bringing them flowers or something sweet. Back then, celebrating Valentine’s Day in elementary was so much more fun when everyone was already each other’s Valentine’s. We would just bring sweets to school and pass out Valentine’s cards to the class. I really miss those times as a child where all we cared about was finding friends to play with at the playground instead of worrying about who we’ll end up with romantically.

One of the things about social media is how easy it is for people to broadcast their relationship online that have people feeling bad about themselves who aren’t in a relationship. This obviously doesn’t apply to every single individual out there, but for those that feel bad about being single and feeling left out in a way. Well just remember that social media is just an illusion. A lot of times, many people only show the happy parts of their perspective and it’s not just a relationship. You don’t really know what actually goes on behind closed doors. Everything is not always what it seems to be on social media and it’s also very easy to assume how people are doing negatively if they don’t constantly post every aspect of their lives to prove how “happy” they are.

Don’t ever feel bad for being single and not having a “Valentine’s.” You can be your own Valentine’s and practice self-love, because loving yourself first is more important than loving someone else first. While many people worship being in a relationship nowadays, being single is actually a blessing. Now I’m not saying that being in a relationship is a bad thing and of course it would be nice to find true love, but I’m saying that many people overlook the idea of being single without realizing how much of a positive impact you can turn your life into by just being single. Love is love, but don’t ever romanticize your life like you can’t live without it.

There is so much more to life than just finding love or “the one.” When you’re single, you can find yourself and be more independent without having to rely on your partner and focusing so much on how to balance each other’s needs out that you basically just end up losing yourself. Being single allows you to have more time to focus on your career and doing something that you love the most, which is why you’re more than likely to become successful. You can become just as successful while you’re in a relationship too if your partner supports your dreams and everything that you do, but many people tend to prioritize their relationship over everything else that they forget to take some time for themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a hopeless romantic person and always fantasize my love life like in those romance films when that’s actually not the reality at all. But focusing on love should not be your prime focus of your life and relationships aren’t everything. Some people would rather stay in an unhappy relationship, but find it hard to leave because it’s already their comfort zone. There are people that only want to settle down for marriage because it’s convenient, but in fact don’t really love their spouse. Then there are people who are afraid of leaving their mental and physical abusive partners, because they don’t know if their life could be in danger or not if they do. Would you rather stay unhappy with someone in an unrequited relationship or would you rather be free and find the love and happiness within yourself that you deserve? There’s your answer.

Personally, having a significant other is just another thing to me. I know I’ve said many ungrateful things about my life before, but I already have so many blessings right in front of me that I’m very thankful for. You know, we always pay attention to what other people have that we don’t have and forget how truly blessed we are deep down. We always complain about how tough our life gets, but yet take very little action to changing it. I know this because, I used to have this very bad mindset and I don’t want anyone to fall into this thinking. Instead of solely focusing on what we don’t have, pay attention to what we do have in our life even if it’s just the simple things because the simple things in life are often the best, yet the most difficult to understand.

Jealousy is also a very evil and negative trait to have. It shows that we are not very happy, confident, or content with ourselves. And if you’re not happy about where you stand in your love life or just your life in general, you should start to practice on how to love yourself even more so that you can attract the right things in life. Even failure will teach you more about yourself whether it be in relationships or career. As long as you don’t let failure define you and let it elevate you instead, you are already on the right path. You are exactly meant where you’re supposed to be. You only fail if you don’t try and you only fail if you give up after things don’t go your way. So just take one step at a time or one day at a time, because some of the best things in life can take time and your time will eventually come as well.

If you think about it, would life really be worth it if we didn’t go through any obstacles and hardships just to get to where we’re meant to be? What’s the point of life if we always get everything we want? That’s why there’s a saying, if it’s easy then it’s not worth it. We learn how to treasure our blessings around us to achieve more success, just like how we go through bad times to appreciate the good times.

My favorite Miss Universe 2018 winner even said:

It’s very easy to feel bad when you compare what you have to another person, but you can compare it in life. You’ll see other people having different versions of success, achieving different things, and if you keep detracting it to yourself and saying ‘what about me,’ you’ll never see the blessings that you have. So you need to always be mindful of the blessings that you have and be happy for other people, because you know that one day it’ll also come back to you.

Catriona Gray

If you’re still single, don’t be so hard on yourself and think there’s something wrong with you. I promise you that there isn’t anything wrong with you. God made us for a reason on this earth, because we have a purpose to fulfill. Our purpose is not to fulfill and seek love for His mission. Our purpose is to use our gifts that God gave us so that we can glorify Him by doing the things that we’re passionate about and it’s up to us to seek it. Just think of it this way, God wants you to be single at this moment because He is trying to test you and your faith. He wants to see if you will use this time of being single to do something great in life and if you trust in Him to guide you. In His part, sometimes elevation requires separation. This is the time to truly find yourself again. I’m not here to force my religion or beliefs on anyone, because everyone has free will on what they want to believe in and it’s also not up to me if people want to disagree with me or not. You can take it however you want, but I forever stand on what I believe in.

Believe it or not, there are many people out there that are beautiful inside and out who are still single. Even the most intelligent, successful people are still happily single and they don’t allow not being married or being in a relationship to define them! You’re also just as worthy as someone that found true love and just because you haven’t found true love yet, doesn’t mean that you’re not capable of being loved. And sometimes the wrong person can give you room for the right person to love you even better. Every ending is also a new beginning, so always be thankful for the closed doors in life! They may leave you with painful memories and lessons, but they often lead to beautiful destinations.

Self-love Affirmations to Practice

I am valuable and worthy of unconditional love

It’s okay if someone doesn’t love me back, I already love myself even more

I can buy myself flowers and take myself out on a date

There’s no such thing as being perfect, because my imperfections make me unique

I still have time to find the love that I deserve

How people treat me is a reflection of themselves that have nothing to do with me

Finding myself is one of the greatest blessings that I can ever have

There is so much more to what life has to offer for me than finding love

It doesn’t matter if they choose someone else when I can choose myself

No one is in charge of my happiness but me

I sincerely hope this article helps for all the singles in this world! You’re forever worthy of love and you are good enough. No one is ever not enough.

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